Bad Mother

aaron yost

2006-09-06T14:39:05Z

Alcoholism is a form of drug addiction. So before you go blabbing about being so righteous with your beer in your hand and ego in the other, take a second to get your blurry head together and realize the hypocrisy and lies you are spreading. You do your drugs Ill do mine. Each to their own. If you have something to say about me or my friends say it at least to my face.

donate to my life.

2005-03-07T15:42:56Z

wrote and recorded some musik with russell.
probably do some more tonight.
should be bomb.
i am planning on purchasing a laptop.
then the full on mobile recording madness will be in effect.
dude in texas recording bass while dude in bremerton plays glockenspiel
while dude in seattle plays drums... its endless!!
plus it would be sweet for demo-ing.
tigght.
oh man i had a weird dream that i bought a pack of ciggarettes... WTF!!!
well im glad that's not true.

<3 jeremy

diejermsdie @ 2004-10-18T08:59:00

2004-10-18T16:02:39Z

I am happy.

Had a good weekend.

Feeling very refreshed.

No paranoia.

Because I have it all right now.

Every little piece of the puzzle is intact and preserved.

We'll see how long I can hold that together.

Stress kills people.

But it all works out in the end.

Usually with an acting out whether in words or physically.

People work themselves out.

People don't work people out.

They can help but it always comes down to finding your own needs.

For some reason I can find that balance of rationalizing myself.

I had an amazing weekend.

<3

diejermsdie @ 2004-10-03T12:49:00

2004-10-03T19:59:59Z

MMM... So pretty much my life is completely different lately. Much more dorkier if you will. Today I played Final Fantasy III all morning. Yesterday I watched spirited away again. I really need to take that out of my dvd player. Today I really want to get over to seattle and hit up scarecrow video. I want to pick up "vampire hunter D" and "hellsing". mmmm.... yes staying at home and being lazy is fun. Plus were all stocked up on food and jonah is at my feet so it is definately entertaining.

So I can get a free ticket for social distortion. But Im not sure if A.) I want to see Mike Ness in his wheelchair. B.) The new social distortion is not too good. C.) We might have a show that night. But I suppose I will see.

I don't like bitterness, spitefulness, and hate.
Some people seemed to be filled with that.

"It's a one way window and all you see is yourself. The illusion is another but it is always yourself."

Have a good day everyone.

Hello world.

2004-09-29T07:58:31Z

Figuring yourself out is probably the most important thing in life.
Then you can help others.
This might sound crazy, yes it does.
But I forget all the time.
Today I saw out the window, through a straw, with one eye closed and my head strapped to a wall.
That is all anyone sees.
It just is.
Don't ask why.
Who knows?
More semi-blind people?
Like I said, figure yourself out.
That is all.
Then you can be a good human.
You'll get it.
It just is.
So it goes.

Today I listened to...

2004-09-28T05:19:26Z

Planes Mistaken For Stars - Up In Them Guts
Nada Surf - Let Go
Stereotyperider - Prolonging The Inevitable
Gosling - e.p.
Black Eyes - s/t

And I made some homeade 4 track diddies with fruity loops and a guitar and 2 string bass. Then I passed out for a long time.

EXHAUSTION.

I read "Slaughter House Five" by Kurt Vonnegut on tour and now I am going to read "Island" by Aldous Huxley.

I think forever.

2004-09-27T07:42:12Z

My cat Jonah is gone. He has supposedly been gone for 8 and a half days. I miss him very much. I hope to see him again soon.

my head its pounding.

2004-09-11T00:14:58Z

Last night I was in my own world. I don't know why but I have never felt so in tune with what I was playing and following. And that is not just a saying and description that can be explained in words. What the fuck is going on. It's changing and that is for the best. I love these conversations with myself. I have them often. Also with others too. Its present but unspoken and that is how it is pure. Thats how all things are pure. When they are unrecognized. ha ha! I just blew it. Oh well.

So tonight I have no real plans. We are practicing and Im stoked but tired as hell. Mr. Kyle B is going to hang out with me tonight and that is always a classic time. Perhaps getting drunk down by the dock and falling in would be an option. Naw I don't want to scare the fish... Or a trip to the big city!!! But tonight is definately not a wine night. Im feeling to good lately and content to ramble on all night about problems. Its the fucking weekend and Im already bored out of my mind. hahah haha hahah ahhaha Its so fun.

<3 JjjjjjJJjjjjJJJjjjjJJJJjjjJJJ

Taking dads car and Im goin' to the city.......

2004-09-08T00:36:03Z

Going with Nick and Andy "boom boom" Buswell to see the almighty MXPX tonight. The Divorce is opening. Should be good times... Hopefully I see Andy Moore there tonight.

I am thoroughly exhausted from this weekend. Oh yeah I saw jolene and was it bettina??? Just thought you might want to know that. They looked liked they were doing good.

Tomorrow I WILL hang out in suquamish, after practice of course.

Goodnight, love youuuuuuu.

<3 Jeremy

This Weekend soooo craAZZYZZzzyyyyy

2004-09-07T15:20:01Z

kyle
aya
seattle
orange juice
jordan
green lights
sleep
fungus
led zeppelin III cover
posters
craziness
enon
josh
bumbershoot
thai food
thai ice teas
stolen wallet
the return of the stolen wallet unharmed
u district
late nights in suquamish
heather d.
jenny
lauren
opium
fountains
teddy bear wallet
ideas
signing autographs with charlos
signing two penises
and two "chests"
holleys getting a tattoo of my autograph (yeah right)
deja vu'
homeade kane hodder shirts
josh k.
tony
skateboarding
late nights
early mornings
interesting conversations
waterfronts
summersaults @ 4 in the morning?
thousands of people
interrogation
holley
pagliaccfjiosufsl pizza
passing out in the car
my couch but brand new and sleeping on it
the dismemberment plan
katie
drew
danielle
himsa
bracelet hunting
heather
casy
andy moore knowing every pixies song
robbi
annie
against me!
vaux
russ
brad
ralphs deli
bus riding
trying to figure out bremertons shitty bus system
ferries
more ferries
blackberry festival
tom
tyler
pixies
built to spill
the divorce
garrett
grassy knolls
registering to vote
center house pasta
curry
movies that never were watched
boards of canada
drawing on the ferrys
exhaustion
tripping on everything
bremerton jr. high rooftop
beatles
vince
corey
the velvet teen
trying to sneak in to bumbershoot
us playing the whats next stage (blew my mind)
pictures
bag breaking
getting new bag
the new blood brothers
khaki king
mukilteo
express lanes
dicks
running out of gas (of course)
dad in the emergency room
jesses mom giving me a ride
jesses mom forcing me to go buy a soda
jesses mom the gambler
sleep talking
the diner
decorated ciggarette pack
the hurricane
parks parks and more parks
laziness
longwave
walking
plans for more plans
getting lost
getting lost again
and again
deathcab for cutie
U.S.E.
megan
backstage
stealing many little sodas
fights
brad stealing lots of lighters
tylers recordings
chris
engine down
ashley
laughing way too much
sleepovers
chillin
no work for 4 days
charley nick and eric
botch
chain smoking
c.thomas howell as the soul man (5 times over)
friends i havent seen in forever
the fire theft
poker
pesto bagels
sweaters

sleep!

Well...

2004-09-03T17:26:54Z

Off to Bumbershoot!

its goneee

2004-08-31T19:18:44Z

So I don't have a cell phone anymore. At least not for a while until I can pay my bill. I don't get too many hours lately at my job and it kinda sucks. I need $$$. So if you need something just reply here, catch me on aim. Maybe I should just make some "messages" posts where people need to tell me stuff and they can write it there. ehhh I dunno. No work today either so I will be bored at home.

Someone should kidnap me and hang out with me today. I can't drive either.

Im pathetic as of right now.

<3 Jeremy

diejermsdie @ 2004-08-30T09:04:00

2004-08-30T16:25:06Z

Your mouth changed. You don't even look the same anymore. Or maybe my eyes changed/its been that way since 2004. The facts are... exactly that. I don't want it anymore. In fact I don't want to see, feel, or sound to be the same. Your preoccupation with playing with the mouse is not really what I would have imagined it to be. It's your eyes who are clouded. Your life is a luxury that you can't afford/some outfits seal that fate. Your wants are too much/Your heart selfish and cold.

My stomache is sick lately. It's that feeling/you know the one that makes me smile as if their were strings pulling on my face. As if my own free will couldn't push me to do that simple task. It's your smile that can ruin a day. If we set our lives on fire/you would steal the water from me. I would burn for days while you reclined in relaxation of oceans of water. Yeah your eyes are wide with the anticipation of ruin and lies. Your disaster/My disaster. Cutting the connection now will dissolve the core. No more/No less. I don't want to be connected to some god awful lame excuse of a friendship/that is a cover up for disaster. Nothing looks right/smells right. I got to go/you won't understand. I dont care, it's not for you, it's for me. Confused? Yeah you always are. Don't ask me to figure it out/it's not for me anymore.

This last part is for you/you probably think this is about you. It's not/I didn't tell anyone. It isn't what you think/it is what you think. But it is not about you. I could be destroyed by you yet I still always see things/they are better there. Your presense has meaning/the music I give you and picures to remind you. You do remember/youwantthingstobethesame. Is that too much?/or will we be condemned to a life of wonder. Yes.No

chimera obscurant

2004-08-29T19:47:53Z

two eyes doesn’t mean double vision / i never questioned this stance but now / i’ve been seeing things / i can hear a voice in the distance / trying to turn my attention to their truth / someone’s moving behind the curtain / i point it out to my friends / but they don’t see a thing / i just keep my synaptic active / to prepare for the day that they do / cos this ain’t how it ends / and they’ll say* / let’s hear it / for the post-moderation / for tolled salivation / who cares so much about these things / availed denomination / the ‘so shall’ domination / *now i think it’s funny i feel distant / i’d run away if it’d make any difference / i’d look up my childhood crushes / but they’ve all have their own children since / and even if their hearts tarnish / they've gold wedding bands to hide the green / pearly gates to show from her past or his mouth / he too bears the burden of a bulbous belly / yeah, yeah, i know, i know this veil ain’t real / and still it never fails to fall or send me reeling / i awaken to the same ceiling / and i can’t seem to shake this sick feeling

i don’t need surgery to keep my smile fixed / ever confidant, never nervous / for i feel nothing / i work hard and come from a respected family / we take care of each other, we do / we won’t live until we shed this skin / oh, to be free again / a vestige interest in the instrumental moment / you’ll know it when / now all the pieces keep falling faster / your letters spelling disaster / i wish i was in paris getting plastered / cos all this masquerading’s started my façade fading / turned my quiet heart to hating / whatever / it is that we’ve been waiting for (it) / when they’ll say* / let’s hear it / for drained health and elation / brain cell annihilation / who cares so much about these things / pupil dilation / more light to the patient / *that every word that i’m speaking / will poison the chance that you’re listening / i know that you think you’d be missing out / with an answer / that we can’t make out or make up / but even if we black out and break up / it’s just a breath ‘fore we’re looking back, laughing out / cos every end’s a beginning, beggin' to get back in / you know i’ll come around, if you just let me sleep in / with each wave more violent than the last / i’ll keep my thoughts silent till they pass / we’re not ready yet / they’ll say you’ve got to build your tolerances now and then / make your heart a callus with thicker skin / i just can’t seem to shake this (sic) fealing

the more they interfere to forestall me / the clearer i hear her calling me, calling me / i must have struck a nerve cos someone’s following me / i pull over to the shoulder of the freeway / my history profiled on the licensed registry / the shepherd keeps a careful eye on his personal inventory / saying we’re the same

so come on, child, you’ve slept enough / and i know you’re tired but i’m waking you up / there is much to be done, and we’re right on the cusp / of this shit getting real, i’m mean really, really fucked / every sheep for the shearing waiting around non-plussed / trading branding irons for brand-name cuts / we were born in labor, baptized in dust / given life anew as a living trust / with every hair numbered and cross-referenced / for each soul they claim to save, they have added interest / with a price on your head, what you think matters not / every credit card statement, every lie you’ve bought / rates our exchanged faith for the next fiat / on the blotter paper, the blood don’t clot / it just bleeds you dry and then leaves you to rot / in a dead end job till at last you drop / into this old noose, with the rope drawn taut / left with your hands bound so they’ll never be caught / you may sabotage our education / to a calculated chaos born of confusion / a controlled market through the inflation / truly euthanasia to waste on the young / but, we’ve caught you now, and we’re cutting your funds / we outnumber you over a million to one / it’s a sharp weapon, but the point’s left blunt / there’s no skill to the game, no challenge to the hunt / with each target deaf, blind, and reticent / got your ducks in line for the same false front / cos when free will costs even ten percent / false tongues speak lies over catholic hunts / from the cathepsin to the cathexis / i’ll bear the stigmatic focus of the anti-catechist / with each catalytic pill slowly slitting my wrists / so when i raise my hand, see my bloody fist / may have killed brain cells, but i’ve kept my wits / and i'd rather go sooner to have known and said this / i’ve peaked at the end, where the answer sits / all the rest is just problems and more questions / hear the classes getting loud and the teacher getting pissed / in the end this pattern goes 666 / soon my name’s showing up on every government list / free speech shouldn’t cost, let alone be a risk / so when i die young, it’ll prove me right / cos it won’t be pills, swear it won’t be the knife / no matter how hard it gets, i’m in this for life / and i’m never giving up till we make things right / god gave me this voice, so i can’t stay quiet / they can’t kill this love, i’ll come back to fight / to return each star and remove each stripe / from each prism cell, we’ll refract the light / to reveal each move, catch the thieves in the night / make them share what’s left and return our rights / though it may still shine from a hormone diet / this knowledgeable fruit’s grown overripe / and robbed his breath, birth absorbed he / when the planets line up, every eye shall see / that this invite-only disparity party / has brought enough despair to the already broken-hearted / in the wake of greed, in the name of flow-charting / leaving broken-homes where once were gardens / see it’s our pale horse that we’re riding in on / bringing pestilence as a plague of love / with hell at our heels and heaven catching on / it’s the hanged man, it’s the crux fiction / it’s the pentagram, it’s the pentagon / it’s david’s star, it’s the pyramid song / what was once upright / now is upside down / and isaiah, it’s a revelation / 2368, 2701 / means a way out / and if i can, you know i’m bringing everyone

diejermsdie @ 2004-08-29T01:56:00

2004-08-29T09:12:51Z

I woke up at 10:30pm after sleeping all day. This weekend has felt like a week. This is what I did.

Got off work.
Got PAID$$
Practice
Seattle
Andy and Alissas sleepover
Breakfast mmmmmmm....
Drive
Drive
Drive
Spokane
Carls Jr.
The six dollar burger
indie rock girl
boo radleys
lots of kids
1.00$ pabst
many homeless/drunk encounters
rain
show
power cutting out
himsa
as i lay dying
amazing
charley rocking out in the bar
me and charley playing save me jesus songs on the street drunk for money
long ass fucking drive home
nick driving the whole way Xthe trooperX
home
sleep?
andy buswell and adali on the ferry
seattle
U district
the velvet teen
no sleep
cafe bellalarllrieiarou?
came home today
slept all day
woke up to find out that I am stupid and slept and forgot to go to andys bbq =(
hung out with charley and eric until i felt i was going to pass out again
dog getting ran over
pool
pinball game
sleeeppp
now i think i might do that.

The Velvet Teen - The Great Beast February e.p.
The Velvet Teen - Elyssium
Nada Surf - Let Go

.

2004-08-24T20:28:07Z

No work today. I think I will try something new...

so long.

2004-08-23T03:51:48Z

This weekend equaled...

Ditching work.
Camping.
Seattle.
Guitars.
Shows.
Bellingham.
Drunkeness.
Fights.
Sand.
Conversations.
Strawberries and Hot Chocolate.
Velvet Teen
Ben Gibbard.
Cex.
Idiot Pilot.
The Black Brothers.
Pictures.
Mogwai.
Wine.
South.
Phoenix.
lots of smoking.
rocks.
crazy dancing puppet man.
1$.
aliens in the woods.
drunken sailor hero guy.
barbed wire.
exstension flashlights.
rain.
no sleep.
sunrises.
taco bell.
cellophane square.
breakdancing with andy.
dead manaray.
stars.
ruby beach.
tylers apartment.
charley.
ferries.
coffee.
and lots of love...

yo boizzzz

2004-08-19T22:20:46Z

Im not gonna be able to go to the meeting. I have to meet with that dude whos motorcycle I thrashed yesterday.

Could someone text me and let me know what time we are meeting up tommorow?? I might go camping with kyle tonight and Im just wonering what time I need to be back. My cell phone is kinda fucked right now. I cant hear anything when people call. so that would be amazing if someone could let me know! textttt messageeeinnggg.

THANKSSSSS

LOVE JERMsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

another day another dolla.

2004-08-19T19:12:24Z

Working today... yep same as every weekday.

To stay out of trouble I am going to record some songs Ive been working on. I finally got my 4 track out of storage and I need to get them down on tape. The words have come so easily lately due to horrific drama in my life. I think I will play everything for the songs. I have alot of ideas for every instrument. Also been writing a lot of new riffs to throw out for the NEW kane hodder material that we will be writing over the next year. Gonna be able to record those too.

Anyone down to hang out and have a tailgate party and drink a little tonight?
Give me a call.

I will be in tacoma for a little bit but after I am downnnn.

I guess life wants me to fail badly. But that don't phase me. I am invincible...

riiiiggghhhhtttt.

<3

OK SO WHAT THE FUCK.

2004-08-19T03:45:05Z

NOT AGAIN!!!
EVERYDAY MY LIFE GETS SHITTIER AND SHITTIER!!
I THOUGHT THAT THE WORST WAS BEHIND ME.
I WAS WRONG.
I WILL SPARE YOU THE DETAILS BUT ILL JUST SAY I HIT A GUY ON A MOTORCYLCE TODAY IN MY DADS WORKTRUCK.
FUCK.
(IT WAS NOT MY FAULT EITHER)

ALRIGHT KIDS...

2004-08-17T22:10:12Z

Today I found out that right here in Bremerton we have a little hobo community that is beligerently violent. As I was walking from the Fred Meyer parking lot to go to my storage unit to pay my rent as any other normal american usually does. I decide to cut through a little trail that led through the woods. About half way down the trail I was surprised to see three homeless older men sitting on the side under a tree fighting over beer. I decided to pick up my pace and walk past the drunk fucks so not to be bothered by them. Of course they had to ask the relentless questions, "do ya got any chaange?" or "could you spare a smoke?" (I was smoking at the time.)
Like any normal person would do I politely said "No, I'm sorry I don't" and kept walking. As soon as I had past the 3, I heard rustling and before I could turn around was hit in the back of the head with a half full bottle of beer. Spilling beer all over my work clothes and leaving me with a huge bump on the back of my head. I turned around to laughing and pointing and not wanting to encourage more antics of the such kept walking while cursing the lord who has recently reigned down many blessings on me. Only to come to the dead end of a barbed wire fence and realize that I can't take this shortcut after all. So to avoid any more conflict I walked a good 20 min. through brush and stinging needles, finally finding my way back to the parking lot and walking beer soaked, scratched and bruised to pay my rent which was late by 5 days so I was charged an extra 15 bucks.

Dear Charlos Gilbert Potter!!!

2004-08-17T06:59:19Z

You should download The Aniversary/Superdrag split and listen to the superdrag side, (the other side is no good...) But I know you will <3 the last 3 songs. Have a swell night.

love Jeremy.

GO LISTEN TO THESE RIGHT NOW!!

2004-08-17T02:16:40Z

Engine Down - Demure
South - With The Tides
The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving
The Murder City Devils - Empty Bottles Broken Hearts
Ken Stringfellow - Soft Commands

Fuucccckkkkkkk.

I never do these things, but for some reason i did this time.

2004-08-16T04:05:14Z

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. Tell me something I do not know about you. I will reply back and tell you whatever you want to know about me...

PROMISE.

Temper Temperature.

2004-08-16T02:30:32Z

Walked around today, alot.
It's nice to not be angry anymore.

SOUTH - With The Tides